Managing a toddler and a baby

Managing a toddler and a baby

Posted by •

Pregnancy and the birth of a new baby can stir up many different feelings for parents and other family members.   

It may bring up thoughts about what their new baby will be like, how their baby will make them feel, and whether they will love this baby as much as their first.  

There may be great excitement, or feelings of lack of control. These expectations regarding the new baby are sometimes related to past experiences, especially if the first child proved difficult to settle. 

Confidence comes with experience, and many second and third time parents find being a parent again easier. They feel more confident, relaxed and less stressed in general. They feel more secure in the choices they make and things that seemed so difficult with the first child seem like second nature. 

Siblings will be one of the most important relationships in your child’s life. This will be a longer relationship than the parent-child relationship so it is important that it has a good start.  

Dynamics within the household

When a new baby comes along, it’s common for roles within the family to change.   

Often a new baby means the workload can double so it may be helpful to discuss each person’s roles and make changes before the baby arrives, making sure the transition is smooth. Discuss who will be doing what.

Combining jobs can help when time is short. Cooking dinner with the sibling means that dinner is made and quality time has been spent with the older child.  Walking with the baby in the pram provides an opportunity for exercise and time with baby.   

If the new baby is breastfed, mum may like to spend some separate one on one time with the toddler and so may want their partner or other family members to take the baby rather than the older child. Offering individual attention to the older child reduces jealousy and their need to compete. 

Stepfamilies

For stepfamilies, the arrival of a new baby can bring about a surprising range of emotions for both adults and existing children. The strong need to protect and nurture their baby can take a first time parent (and step-parent) by surprise. This can be because it highlights less intense feelings they may have for their stepchildren.   

For an only child in particular, the new baby’s arrival may lead to feelings of jealousy and loneliness. In contrast, it can be easier when a step-parent becomes a biological parent, and they become an integral part of the stepfamily.

Planning before the baby arrives

  • Try to plan as much as possible for the arrival of a new baby.  
  • Consider simple things like having meals in the freezer, booking online food shopping and having plenty of nappies. 
  • What family support do you have? Who can you call on? Make a list and contact them to check they are ready to help out. 
  • If family and friends can help, consider compiling a list of tasks or chores that need to be done and put them on the fridge to be seen.  
  • Look for local support services in your community. Outside support may include nappy services, adopt a nanny, cleaners etc. 
  • Who will take care of your toddler if labour is early? Make a list of different options and discuss them with your partner so you are both prepared. 

For FIFO families

Find out where the nearest support group is and write down the dates they meet. Look at work rosters or contracts to see if the worker can get extended leave or parental leave to spend time with the new baby and toddler. 

From the toddler’s point of view

We expect toddlers to adjust instantly but it is normal for them to experience feelings of jealousy, anger and sadness. The way children respond may depend on the child’s age and stage of development. Some behaviour will be normal for their age and not related to the new sibling. For example, typical expressions for the two year old in ‘mastery’ mode are, “I do it” and, “mine”. 

It can also depend on their temperament. How do they adjust to change? How can we, as parents, work with their temperament? For example, if we know they are anxious, we can try to make this transition easier by preparing them with books and role-playing. 

Some children will like to know early on and others won’t be interested at all. Be guided by the interest that your child shows and the questions they ask. Keep it simple! 

Sense of loss and change 

There is a loss of the previous life, for both parents and for children, including the loss of the one-on-one relationship. But there is also the opportunity for a new relationship. 

Transitions are times of change and they are good for personal growth but too many changes at once for young children can be overwhelming. 

Predictable routines give children a sense of security as they know what is coming next. When there is change happening within the house, your child will find it comforting to continue with the existing routines where possible. These could include the bedtime routine and going to playgroup. 

It is important to include other children in the preparation for the arrival of the new baby. Find ways of involving them and use phrases that let them know they are included. 

If the older siblings is moving bedrooms, do this early. The toddler needs time to talk about this, be part of the process and have some control over the situation. Involve a toddler in the change by letting them arrange their toys and belongings where appropriate. They might like to create a nameplate on the door. Doing this before the baby arrives helps avoid any resentment towards the baby. 

Want to know more?

Raising Children Network – Relationships with extended family in your blended family 

Raising Children Network – Blended families & stepfamilies 

Raising Children Network – New baby: helping toddlers and pre-schoolers adjust 

Grandparents – some things have changed

Posted by •

Many things have changed since you were a parent of young children. With years of scientific research and development behind us, we now know so much more about how children grow and develop. 

It can be helpful for grandparents to be aware of what parents are learning about growth and development, sleep and feeding, and about expectations for parenting. 

Your adult children may parent completely differently to you, but you still have lots to offer from your personal parenting experience. You can be more supportive if you are “up to date “ with modern understandings and expectations. 

Some areas that might be worth checking out

Brain development and the importance of the early years

We have always known that caring for young children and providing lots of love  has been important. Now, scientists and researchers have found out much more about how what happens in a child’s first few years shapes their health and wellbeing for the rest of their lives. 

The science of sleep and what to expect

Where once we trained children to sleep and left them to cry, now we know more about: 

  • the need for strong attachment, developed by responding appropriately to your child and avoiding distress, especially in young babies 
  • sleep cycles and how children settle themselves and how to set up environments and patterns for children that help then settle to sleep. 
  • realistic sleep expectations and understanding that children grow and practice new skills while they are sleeping  
Breastfeeding and diet for babies and young children

Although breastfeeding has declined, we still know that feeding babies breast milk until 12 months is highly recommended and provides the best start in life. Supporting and encouraging breastfeeding where you can will be a great contribution to your grandchildren.  

Solids are introduced when children are ready, usually between 5 and 7 months. There are also many great ideas and resources available to help parents introduce healthy eating. 

Being role models for healthy eating and eating together as a family are things grandparents can easily help with.  

Screens and technology

Even babies can now be bombarded with technology in the form of mobile phones and other devices.  

In the first two years too much screen time can actually be harmful to development. Throughout childhood parents are faced with choices and issues about what information and activities their children should access. 

Working on alternate play activities when you are with your young grandchildren like walks, singing, games and puzzles, that perhaps parents struggle to find time as much time for, can help limit these screen based activities. 

Play and learning

We know that babies start to learn in the womb and that they learn through the senses. All the simple things like peek a boo, reading books and singing rhymes help them develop language.  

Outside play and natural environments are still great for kids, so visits to the beach, the playground or gardening with grandparents are great options. There are some exciting playgrounds to discover in most towns and cities. 

Work and family

How families share care of their children has also changed. The use of childcare helps mothers return to work and modern partners often adjust work hours to suit family needs.  

Many grandparents who help care for grandchildren may be unfamiliar with parental leave provisions and child care options. If you can offer support, talk with the parents about how best you can help.  

Guiding children’s behaviour

Working to help parents guide their growing children by using boundaries, directions and guidance that is similar to their parents can help children develop confidence and avoid tensions.  

There will be special treats and things that grandparents can always offer, celebrate these and avoid keeping these a secret from parents.  

Want to know more?

Grandparents in WA can also use Ngala Parenting Line – or look for a helpline in in your state 

Natureplay WA website 

Beyondblue – healthy families  

The Raising Children Network – Grandparents and kinship carers

Grandparents

Posted by •

Grandparenting is different for every family and it is important to have conversations with your adult children about what they expect from you, even before the baby arrives. 

Grandparenting has changed now that more parents are in the workforce and may be working new style work schedules, like fly in fly out. Grandparents may still be working too. 

More children are cared for by grandparents than in child care centres and many grandparents find themselves taking on full time care. 

Common roles for grandparents

  • Nurturer, mentor, listener and supporter  
  • Caring for grandchildren – part time or fulltime  
  • Helping establish routines – following Mum and Dad’s lead  
  • Playmate wizard and hero  
  • Family historian – explain relationships and tell them about the extended family  
  • Supporting your children- doing a few chores , cooking a meal, babysitting. 

A few things to consider before you begin

  • What are you able to do and what would you like to do?
  • What do the parents want you to do?
  • Keeping your own interests – fitting grandparenting in the time you have.  
  • What does your health and energy levels allow?  

Avoiding tensions and pitfalls

  • Relax, play and have fun! 
  • It’s the simple things that we do and the time that we spend with our grandchildren that make memories. Like baking, building a cubby house or having a picnic on the back lawn. 
  • Focus on developing a relationship with your grandchild because there are big rewards to be had – for both you and the child.  
  • Consider trial periods if you plan to care regularly for your grandchild – “Let’s try it for a month and see how it goes” 
  • Respect the parents and follow their rules unless you have talked about an alternative  
  • Offer support rather than criticism 
  • Give advice only when invited 
  • Treats are allowed but do not keep secrets from the family 
  • Safety proof your house and consider what equipment you might need for the house and car  
  • Be prepared to be flexible 
  • Use quieter activities if you need them – reading books , music, puzzles, board games – keep some toys just for your house or maybe visit the local library  
  • Be prepared to learn from your grandchildren 
  • Treat them as individuals, they will all be different  
  • Remember most grandparents are in the privileged position to provide lots of love and calm space where grandchildren can take time to explore and try new things 
  • Read some more on grandparenting and current parenting matters and talk with other grandparents for ideas. 

Grandparenting is a wonderful opportunity to grow deep and long-lasting relationships with your grandchildren.   

Want to know more?

The Raising Children Network – Grandparents and kinship carers 

Australian Institute of Family Studies – Families, policy and the law 

Zero to Three – 7 things you should know about grandparenting 

How diet can make a difference

Posted by •

Your diet can make a huge difference to how well you cope with the demands of pregnancy. A good diet can improve the health of your unborn baby, as well as your capacity to cope with your family, work and social life during and after pregnancy.

Weight gain during pregnancy

Pregnancy is a time when you are more likely to gain excess weight. While most women gain weight during pregnancy, some have trouble maintaining a healthy weight.

Gaining too much weight can have a big effect on your health, raising your risk of having high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes, or other illnesses. It could also affect the health of your child.

Your energy needs

Your energy requirements (calories or kilojoules from food) do not increase during the first trimester of pregnancy. In the second and third trimester your energy needs will go up a little, depending on your body mass index (BMI).

For someone with a healthy BMI this would be an increase of approximately 200-300 Calories (or 830-840 kJ). For those with a higher BMI it would be closer to 100-150 Calories (400-630 kJ).

Eating a healthy diet can help you to…

Prevent and manage constipation

In pregnancy, the hormone progesterone can slow down your gut movements. The longer food stays in your gut the more nutrients can be absorbed but also the more fluid is absorbed. This leads to dehydrated stools that are difficult to pass. Here are some tips:

  • Increase your fibre intake. Fibre increases the bulk and water content of stools, making them easier to pass. Foods high in fibre include fruit, vegetables, wholemeal and grain bread, brown rice, wholemeal pasta and cereals.
  • Drink plenty of water throughout the day as fibre needs fluid to have a beneficial effect.
  • Exercise regularly as it will help you to have regular bowel movements.
  • If you are taking an iron supplement, try switching to a liquid form, but make sure you speak to your health professional for advice.
Ease morning sickness

Morning sickness, is nausea and vomiting that may occur at any time of the day during pregnancy. It is caused by hormonal changes and is most common during weeks 6 to 12 of pregnancy, although some women suffer for longer. Some tips include:

  • Eat regular small meals every two to three hours, including some dry crackers before you get out of bed in the morning.
  • Snack on protein foods between meals (e.g. nuts, reduced-fat hard cheese or yoghurt).
  • Keep hydrated by drinking at least two litres of fluid a day. Water is best but other beverages do count. Limit those high in sugar such as juices, flavoured milks and soft drinks, unless they are all you can tolerate. Foods high in water like yoghurt, fruit and vegetables will also contribute to your fluid intake.
  • Avoid a full stomach or empty stomach. Try to drink between meals rather than with them, avoid large portions, and fatty foods.
  • Avoid foods with a strong taste or smell.
  • If you are taking an iron supplement but they are causing you an upset stomach, try switching to a liquid form or children’s chewable iron tablets and folic acid. Make sure you speak to your health professional for advice.
Reduce heartburn

Heartburn, also known as acid reflux or indigestion, occurs when your stomach acids rise. This is caused by hormonal changes that relax the sphincter that closes your stomach off from your throat. In later pregnancy, your growing baby may press on your stomach and make heartburn worse. Some suggestions

  • Eat small, regular meals or divide your meal into two smaller portions, keeping one for a snack later.
  • Avoid fatty, fried foods or processed foods by choosing low fat dairy products, lean meats, fruits and vegetables.
  • Use low fat cooking methods such as boiling, baking, or grilling instead of frying. Try an oil spray instead of liquid oil.
  • Avoid caffeine in drinks like tea, coffee cola and chocolate. Choose decaf options instead. Caffeine also relaxes the sphincter between your throat and stomach, as do spicy foods. Keep upright for an hour after a meal to allow gravity to take effect. When lying down keep your head and shoulders propped up on a couple of pillows so gravity can help keep the stomach acid down.

Boost your immune system

Being pregnant affects your immune system and leaves you more vulnerable to infections such as colds and influenza. A well balanced diet including a variety of nutrients can help you to maintain your immune system.

  • Try to eat the recommended amounts of dairy, protein, cereals, grains, fruit and vegetable food groups (see pregnancy healthy eating guide).
  • Choose a wide variety of fruit and vegetables every day for the different vitamins and minerals needed to help fight sickness – think of putting a rainbow of colours on your plate.
Enhance your energy levels 

Your energy comes from what you eat (protein, carbohydrate and fat), as well as from the breakdown of carbohydrate and fat stored in your body. Nutrients such as the B group vitamins and iron are needed to maximise your body’s production and use of energy. You will feel more energetic when you eat healthy foods.

The glycaemic index (GI) is a way of grading carbohydrates according to the extent to which they raise your blood sugar levels after eating. High GI foods provide quick energy but the slower energy release of low GI foods has more benefit for your general health.

  • Eat regular meals and snacks to maintain your body’s store of ‘ready’ energy.
  • Choose a variety of foods, such as fruits, vegetables and foods high in protein and carbohydrates with a low GI.
  • Focus on eating twice as healthy rather than twice as much.
Prevent or delay diabetes

Pregnancy can affect how your body uses insulin, the hormone that controls the breakdown of carbohydrate and fat in your body. Some people are more likely to develop gestational diabetes during pregnancy because of family history, ethnicity and lifestyle.

Gestational diabetes, if it is not controlled, can also have a negative effect on your baby’s health.

If you are have gestational diabetes, you are at more risk of getting Type 2 diabetes after pregnancy.

  • A healthy lifestyle can reduce the chances of getting gestational diabetes or at least delay it.
  • Keeping physically active helps your insulin work better during pregnancy. Find out more about the recommended physical activity during pregnancy.
  • Controlling your weight gain during pregnancy is very important to avoid diabetes.
Improve your mood 

Research shows that there are strong links between the intake of folate, vitamin B12, calcium, iron, selenium, zinc, and omega 3 fats with improved mental health and mood.

Eating a variety of healthy foods each day is enough to make sure you are having enough vitamins and minerals that improve mood. Eating regular meals can help avoid mood swings.

Maintain your nutrient stores

During pregnancy, your body adjusts to ensure that your baby is top priority. Any nutrients will go from you to your baby to ensure their best development. If a nutrient is not readily available, your personal stores will be used for your baby.

  • To ensure your nutrients are enough for you and your baby, regularly eat foods rich in iron, folate and calcium. Vitamin D from exposure to sunlight will help your body to absorb calcium.
  • Eating a variety of healthy foods will help you and your baby have the required nutrients (except for folate and iodine, which you should take as supplements during pregnancy).
  • If you take multivitamins, ensure that they are formulated specifically for pregnancy. Normal multivitamins can have high levels of Vitamin A that are harmful in pregnancy.

Want to know more?

The Raising Children Network – Pregnancy health and wellbeing

Frequently asked questions

Can I eat smoked salmon while pregnant?

Salmon is good for mothers-to-be and their growing babies. It’s high in omega-3 fatty acids. Studies show omega-3 fatty acids have a variety of benefits including for your baby’s brain development.  However, take caution with raw fish.

Can I eat raw fish and sushi while pregnant? 

It’s best to avoid any foods that may have harmful bacteria such as salmonella and E. Coli. This means raw or undercooked fish, shellfish, meat, poultry and eggs are off the menu. To be on the safe side, don’t have in unpasteurised milk and soft cheeses. Refrigerate leftovers and eat them within one day, otherwise throw them out.

How much sleep do I need?

Posted by •

Sleep during pregnancy is essential for you to function well. You will find you need more sleep as growing a baby can be exhausting.

Getting enough sleep enables you to perform at your best during waking hours. Lack of sleep can make everyday activities seem difficult, making it harder to concentrate, and increasing the chances of making mistakes.   

How much sleep is enough?

Sleep needs differ for everyone, but most people perform best with eight hours of sleep a day. Listen to your body and, if possible, nap during the day.  

The feeling of overwhelming tiredness usually settles after the first trimester. 

In the later stage of pregnancy you may have trouble getting comfortable. This is due to your body changing shape and the pressure your developing baby places on organs, nerves and ligaments.  

Other factors that influence the quality of sleep during pregnancy can include waking at night to go to the toilet. Initially this is due to the increase in fluid volume, then in later pregnancy, due to the pressure the baby exerts on the bladder. It might be nature’s way of preparing us for night feeds! 

Sleep strategies

  • Give sleep higher priority now that you are pregnant. Decide how much sleep you need to function well and plan your day around achieving this.  
  • Set and maintain a regular bed time to help stabilise your body clock. Constant changes in bedtime and sleep duration affect your ability to fall asleep and the quality of sleep.  
  • If your sleep at night is regularly interrupted by toilet visits or other children, plan a regular nap during the day to make up for it. A power nap can do wonders, even if it is only 10 to 15 minutes. However, if possible, nap for no longer than 30 to 45 minutes and no later than 4.00 pm. This way your night time sleep will not be affected and you won’t wake up feeling too drowsy.  

Get comfortable

It is hard to fall asleep if you can’t get comfortable. In late pregnancy, sleeping on your left side is often more comfortable. This position can reduce back ache and improves blood flow to your baby. 

  • Use pillows as supports to wedge behind your back, between your knees and under your belly.  
  • Pay attention to your body temperature. Your metabolism is higher during pregnancy, this will make you feel warmer so you may not need as much clothing or bedding, even in winter.  

Minimise nausea

Nausea associated with morning sickness during pregnancy can wake you from sleep in the morning or keep you awake at night.  

  • Hunger can trigger nausea so make sure you have a snack before bed if you find you are nauseous during the night  
  • If nausea is a problem when you are trying to sleep, keep some dry crackers close to your bed for a snack. Even if you really don’t feel like eating they can help settle your stomach.  
  • Morning sickness can sometimes be relieved by eating some dry crackers before you get out of bed in the morning.   

Reduce heartburn

  • Heartburn or reflux is due to the pressure of your expanding uterus on your stomach. Another contributing factor is the higher level of the hormone progesterone that can cause relaxation of the sphincter that sits at the top of your stomach, this allows the gastric juices to flow back up the food tube.  
  • Eating smaller portions more frequently may help.  

The Raising Children Network has more information on diet in pregnancy.  

Pregnancy health issues such as gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure), and oedema (fluid retention) can affect your sleep.  

Having a healthy weight will also reduce your chance of developing some of these conditions. 

Want to know more?

Women and Newborn Health Service  – Diabetes Service Resources

The Raising Children Network –   Healthy pregnancy for women who are overweight

Breastfeeding tips

Posted by •

There are many things you can do to support breastfeeding as your baby grows and develops.

3 to 6 months  

From three to four months of age, babies become more aware of their environment as they experience rapid changes in their development. Normal growth spurts at this age may cause babies to wake more often, which can be frustrating for parents. 

Babies at this age need a regular place to settle as they are now more aware of their environment. They should preferably settle in a darkened, quiet room.    

They are also far more social and often don’t feed as well, as they are too interested in what is going on around them. Try to ensure they have full feeds during the day and avoid snack feeding. You may need to go somewhere quiet with less distractions to feed. This stage won’t last long and this may help cut down times they wake up and need feeding during the night   

They may be waking to feed or they may be seeking reassurance and comfort. If you think the period of time between feeds has been too short, try to resettle your baby with some gentle patting. A hungry baby will be persistent! 

6 to 12 months  

Up until around 12 months of age, milk is still a baby’s main food source, although many of them will have started solids and to drink water out of a cup.  

Solid foods can be introduced to your baby from 20 to 36 weeks. At this age their digestive system is better equipped for solids and your baby will begin to show signs of being ready for solid food. 

You may experience your baby refusing your breast at this time as babies are easily distracted by noise and activity. Sometimes distraction can be confused for a lack of interest in the breast so give some thought to where you are when trying to breastfeed. 

Most babies benefit from feeding in a quiet place and routines such as regular morning and nightly feeds. 

As babies begin to eat more solids, they will adjust the amount of breastmilk they need. 

From 6 to 8 months of age, offer your baby breastmilk before  solids so they can continue to receive adequate milk until their intake of solid foods is well established. 

By 9 to 12 months, your baby is likely to be having three meals a day. This is when you can allow your baby’s behaviour to guide whether you offer a breastfeed before or after their solid food. 

Once solid foods are introduced, your baby may start to reduce the number of breastfeeds they require.  

For example at 9 months, this could be a first feed in the morning, around lunch time, late afternoon and just before bedtime. 

Milk quality or quantity

You may hear women say that their milk ‘dried up’ or that it started looking ‘thin and watery’ or ‘wasn’t rich enough’. Mature human milk is naturally bluish and looks thin when compared to other milks. Breastmilk works on supply and demand – the more your baby feeds, the more breastmilk you’ll produce. 

Weaning

The best way to wean is gradually, over time. As you or your baby reduces the number of breastfeeds, your milk supply will slowly decrease. Weaning slowly gives you and your baby time to adjust, and also reduces the risk of blocked ducts and mastitis. 

Start dropping the breastfeed that your baby seems least interested in. Then cut out one breastfeed every few days, or one each week. 

Depending on the age of your baby, replace the missed feeds with formula, cows milk, or water. 

If your breasts become engorged, hand express or use a hand pump until you are comfortable. Do not try to empty your breasts as you do not want your supply to build up again.  

Here are some suggestions to try if weaning is difficult: 

  • Offer your baby a dummy for extra sucking if she needs it.
  • Give your baby formula before breastmilk, if doing both at the same feed. 
  • Offer one breast only at each feed and ensure that your baby has plenty of other drinks. 
  • Feed your baby to a fixed routine if this is possible. 

Mixed feeding

Breastfed babies are sometimes given extra feeds as well as breastmilk. This is called mixed feeding or supplementing with formula.  

About bottle feeding

If your baby can’t always feed directly from your breast, you might choose to bottle feed her expressed breastmilk. This will keep up your milk supply and make sure baby gets the benefits of breastmilk. Or you might choose to feed your baby infant formula, which is the only safe alternative to breastmilk. 

Which baby formula is best?

Every baby formula you can buy in Australia meets strict Australian Standards. Most cows milk based baby formulas are of similar quality and nutritional value and are suitable for most babies.

Want to know more?

Raising Children Network – Newborns nutrition 

Australian Breastfeeding Association – Breastfeeding information 

Pregnancy, Birth and Baby – Breastfeeding 

Brains under construction: Language and brain development

Posted by •

The brain is already processing sounds, voices and language rhythm in the womb. Babies come into the world already primed for language.

However, speech can only be learned if it is heard. The more words you use and the frequency with which you talk to your child will enhance your child’s vocabulary, even if the words are yet to be understood. 

Language and development

Language is important for a baby’s development. It is used to communicate, build relationships, express emotions and learn.

A baby needs to hear a language in their usual environment by the people with whom they interact. Without any interaction (like hearing talking on TV), language does not have the same impact on brain development. 

At birth, your baby is ready for some form of communication. For example, your baby will start communicating by looking into your eyes and will stop by looking away. Your newborn baby can hear a wide variety of sounds. They prefer the sounds of voices and other complex sounds. Newborns prefer happy sounding talk, not speech with negative or neutral emotions. 

Talking to your baby

When your baby hears you talk, the language areas of the brain are stimulated. The more language your baby hears, the more these areas will be stimulated and grow. Long before babies can speak, they understand the emotional meaning of speech. 

How your baby’s language skills grow depends on the development in the language areas of the brain. This can take time and happens mostly during the first four years of life. 

What if we speak more than one language?

Bilingualism is common and the brain is so sophisticated and ready to learn that it can absorb and process multiple languages at the same time. If there is more than one language spoken in your home, your baby will be able to process the difference.  

Children have no problem learning more than one language, as long as they hear them from a young age. They also need to be supported and have a consistent language environment to learn well.  

What can parents do?

  • When your baby cries, respond to them in a sensitive and nurturing way. Your baby will learn that the world is a safe place. 
  • When your baby coos or babbles at around two months of age, delight in their interaction and respond with talking and sounds. 
  • When you and your baby are looking at the same object, comment or name what your baby is seeing. Excite them and talk about the object’s shape and colour. 
  • Talk about everyday activities, things and objects to your baby. Research has shown that how much an adult talks with their child in the first few years of life affects their language development and eventual success at school. 
  • Play games with your baby, sing songs and nursery rhymes, and enjoy large picture books together. 
  • Use a higher pitch or expressive voice, commonly called a “sing-song voice”. 
  • Pause before continuing a sentence and use gestures to support your verbal meaning. This type of speech helps your baby notice the emotional meaning and important parts of the conversation. They will be more likely be attentive when you speak like this. 

Want to know more?

Read more about reading to babies and newborns 

Raising Children Network – Language development: an amazing journey

Raising Children Network – Thinking and imagining: newborns

Brains under construction: Sleep and brain development

Posted by •

The brain experiences the outside world through the senses. Seeing, hearing, smelling and feeling are how human beings collect information about the world. This information is relayed to the brain, which uses the information to formulate ideas and opinions, assess situations, generate reactions and then store what it has learned as memories.  

In the early months, the brain connects through a sensory dance with significant adults. The relationship that a baby has with an adult has a big impact on the baby’s development. 

Brains wiring, firing and resting

Brain development in the first three years of a child’s life occurs so rapidly it is referred to as a ‘critical period’. The rapid accumulation of cell connections during the first three years teaches the brain how to react in a given situation. Repetition builds stronger connections. 

Basic pathways are being created from birth. At around six weeks of age, babies start to smile with purpose. Parents know when their baby sees them and when they smile the baby smiles back, and this causes a positive response from the parents. This action is repeated over and over again – creating strong connections through cause and effect.  

While the way our brains are organised and the way we respond and interact with the world around us is set early in life, there is potential to adapt and change, throughout life. This is known as brain plasticity.  

The brain wires itself in a way that lets all parts communicate, make decisions, problem solve, analyse the environment and plan for the future, and this process may take years.  

Sleep and brain development

On average a newborn baby sleeps 15 to 18 hours over a 24 hour period. They usually tire after 1-1.5 hours of awake time and sleep for a one to three hour block. 

Their sleep is made up of sleep cycles. Within those sleep cycles they have periods of REM sleep and non-REM sleep. 

Circadian rhythms (those natural signs that tell us when to eat and sleep) are not developed in babies until they are four to six months old. As a result, babies can become hungry or tired at any time of the day or night. However, with regular repeated cues from a loving and responsive  adult, babies understand the experience and begin to form a feed, play, sleep pattern. 

Babies also encode memories during REM sleep. Their memories are the ones formed through the senses. These include their parents’ smell and voice, the familiar sounds of home, the warm sensation of being cuddled and repetitive experiences of being responded to when they cry.

With time, your baby’s ability to settle themselves off to sleep will improve as they become familiar with the routine and develop the ability to regulate their feelings. 

What can parents do?

  • It is important for parents to tune in to their baby’s tired signs. This will avoid overstimulation and help them settle to sleep. 
  • Some babies also need help to resettle to sleep if they wake from REM sleep. 
  • Warm and responsive parenting help babies to feel safe and calm. It will help them to form positive memories through their senses and daily experiences while they sleep 
  • Babies learn routine by regular cues from their parents in the way they are settled to sleep. Pat, rock and stroke your baby to calm them. Stop when they are quiet but still awake. This way they learn to fall asleep during this calm state by themselves 
  • Keep the light dim during sleep times because the melatonin level (sleep hormone) is dependent on light. Keep household noises normal as your baby is familiar with these sounds and it helps them to feel secure. 

Want to know more?

Raising Children Network – Newborns Development 

The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne – Brain Builders (video) 

Brains under construction: Play and brain development

Posted by •

Play is vital for developing your baby’s brain. Babies learn about themselves, the world around them, and their relationships through play.

When we think of play, we often think of imaginary games. Yet for babies, play consists of everyday moments spent experiencing their world through their senses.

This is why babies put objects in their mouths for the first 18 months. In this way they are able to sense the taste, texture and weight of the object. 

Learning through the senses

Most babies are born with the senses of touch, smell, taste, vision, hearing, movement and balance. Using information gained from the different senses is how your baby’s brain begins to understand the outside world. The way we take in and make use of the information from our senses is called sensory processing.

Sensory information is processed by babies’ brains and affects everything they do. This includes how they explore, move, learn, interact with others and control their emotions.  

From birth, parents help their baby experience the world through their senses. By being cuddled, talked to, fed and having their nappy changed, a baby receives signals through their senses. These signals help them learn about balance, momentum, space and movement, and their muscles. Your baby needs these experiences before they can physically move, roll, crawl and walk on their own. 

Spatial awareness

By involving your baby in everyday activities you are letting them explore their world. For example, by rocking or swinging them, you are helping their spatial awareness. This is their awareness of objects in the space around them and also their body’s position in space. 

Children who have well developed spatial awareness are able to feed themselves as they can judge the distance from the plate to their mouths.

It also helps them become better at abstract thinking, maths and reading. Spatial awareness will enable them to see patterns and spaces between the different letters. As they grow, they may also be skilled at team sports as they are aware of the precise positions of other players on the field. 

What can parents do? 

  • By simply holding your baby you are helping to wire your baby’s brain circuits. That will help your child achieve at school in the fields of maths, science and language.  
  • Your baby’s favourite toy is your face and body. 
  • Hold your baby close to your face and talk to them, while watching to see that your baby is not getting too tired or overstimulated. Stop if your baby indicates that they are tired and overstimulated. They will do this by looking away, arching their backs, or crying. 
  • Allow your baby time to lie on their back while being able to freely move their arms and legs. 
  • Provide your baby with frequent supervised tummy time. 
  • Model play behaviours to your child by picking up and shaking a rattle.  
  • Allow your baby to safely explore their world. This way you will encourage them to develop their thinking, emotional and physical skills through exercising their muscles. 

Want to know more?

Read about play for newborns and babies

Raising Children Network – Thinking and imagining: newborns 

Raising Children Network – Newborns Development 

Brains under construction

Posted by •

Parenting advice is everywhere. A lot of this advice is from either the toy industry or companies who want to sell well-meaning parents products that will give their baby an ‘advantage’. 

The best advice we know, based on our understanding of the first three months of development of an unborn baby, is to leave baby alone. Life in the uterus is dark, moist, warm, safe and much quieter than the outside world. This relative lack of stimulation is what your baby needs for brain growth. Morning sickness is natures way of ensuring we don’t interfere. 

Building brains

Brain development begins from day one, conception – the joining of the sperm and egg. Once these two cells are joined, they produce lots of cells in a small space, at an incredible rate. The human embryo soon looks like a tiny mulberry. Within the mulberry certain cells are assigned to creating the placenta and the water balloon in which the embryo will float, the amniotic sac.  Certain cells are given the duty of constructing the embryo, creating a knot of internal tissues termed the inner cell mass. The inner cell mass at this point possesses a cell whose entire offspring will form the human brain. This has all happened before you have missed a period and realized you are pregnant. 

The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne – Brain builders video  

Folic acid

One of the first things you can do to aid in the development of your baby’s brain is to take folic acid. Women who take folic acid around conception and during the first few weeks of pregnancy are 76 percent less likely to create a fetus with a neural tube defect. 

Parents’ health

The health of the mother and father are equally important at conception and it is important to remember that the health of both parents will have a lasting impact on the unborn baby. 

Drugs (including alcohol and nicotine) can damage a baby’s brain during pregnancy. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) is the result of the consumption of alcohol during the crucial period of brain development. 

High levels of stress can also affect brain development in babies and may result  in smaller head size, delays in mental and motor development, and increased irritability.  

Baby’s senses

Babies learn about the world through their senses. From touch and smell to hearing and vision, babies have an increasingly active mental life in the womb. 

Factors proven to help baby’s brain development in the womb, especially important in the second half of the pregnancy, are: 

  • Eating the right foods (internal link to 2.4). Healthy food promotes health, growth and development.  A balanced diet that incorporates all the food groups is the best start a pregnant mother can give her baby’s developing brain. 
  • Avoiding stress. Too much stress is not good for pregnant women or their babies. For the best development of your baby’s brain try to avoid stress, especially in the last few months of your pregnancy. There are plenty of ways to actively practice general stress relief. Exercise is one of them. 
  • Exercise (internal link to AN 6.1) just the right amount. Women who exercise regularly have a much easier time giving birth than unfit women. It is thought that the direct affect of aerobic exercise on the baby’s developing brain is of benefit, but also exercise can reduce the mother’s stress. Getting the balance right is important as strenuous exercise in the later stages of pregnancy can have a negative impact. Moderate, regular, aerobic exercise for 30 minutes per day is ideal.  
  • Gaining just the right amount of weight (internal link to AN 6.6), this will vary depending on whether you are overweight or underweight at the start of your pregnancy. Your doctor or midwife will be able to advise you. 

Want to know more?

Raising Children Network – Newborns Development 

Raising Children Network – Smoking, alcohol and other drugs in pregnancy: men 

Frequently asked questions

Why are babies born with a brain not yet fully grown? 
  • Physical- Corresponds to the size of the pelvic outlet- at birth the newborn baby’s brain weighs 400grams, at the end of the critical period a three year olds brain weighs 1100 grams. 
  • Cognitive- The brain requires stimulation and nurturing to grow it to maturity. We are complex beings with higher functioning than all other mammals on earth